Snookie brings baby jesus some FrankenChenz and Mur...

Yes I'm Serious...


This piece of amazingness happened on jimmy kimmel last night. I mean honestly does it get any better? Consider this my christmas gift to you.

Is the LATEST Supper as important as the LAST? A Rant...

I may be a sentimental nugget right now-what with the holidays coming and all - but I saw this painting by Elaine Bagley featured on Apartment Therapy today and got a little E-MOSHE. Doesn't it remind you of the Last Supper? I know, I know, I'm not much of a religious either, and I am SO over Ratzinger (I mean Benedict), but the painting of the Last Supper has always struck a chord with me.

In my head I imagine Jesus finding out he's basically about to get taken out. He calls on his peeps to have one last hurrah before the cock crows that third time. I picture JC at the table, a little tipsy on wine, talking to his friends and saying "This is it. This is what it's all about. Forget the miracles and the eye for an eye stuff - life is about community and being present to one another. LIVE IN LOVE, PEOPLE!" Then he pounded a beer and made out with Mary Magdalene.

The last supper is the finite illustration of what I believe was Jesus' key message - Everyone is invited to the table. Everyone contributes. Everyone has equal value. It seems to me that the church hasn't just lost the message, they've changed it. The new motto reads: There are only so many places at the table. Everyone Contributes. Only those at the table have value. Bagley's painting is proof that the basic message of togetherness, despite all of the polarizing rhetoric in the world, is still present. I'm excited about Thanksgiving and the chance to break bread and drink wine with the people that mean the most to me. Thanks Elaine for your art! More HERE.

SAFETY JUST GOT SEXY!

Nothing says high fashion like a bedazzled scooter helmet... I mean, my breath is taken. Available fresh from Uncle Lagerfeld's Fall collection, these "it" helmets are available at Collette Paris from an affordable $1,805.00 to a reasonable $6,837.00. My car cost me $4,000.00. SO... I think that what Uncle Karl is telling me is (insert inner dialogue) "if I get creative with my glue gun and feathers I may be able to increase the blue book value of my Mitsubishi Galant by major COUTURE proportions". Look for my chia car at a bloomies near you! CHEERS to Ridiculousness! Karl I know your laughing right now... I hope. More HERE

JESUS LITERALLY FELL OFF THE CROSS...

OK, So it's been everywhere this week. Glambert closed the AMA's the other day with his new single "For Your Entertainment". As if the fly over states weren't already having seizures over his eyeliner, leather pants and general supreme gayness, Glambert went ahead and made out with a dude on National TV and simulated BJ's with another dude. In that moment, Jesus literally fell off the cross (or so it would seem).

Frankly, the critics are ridiculous. A half hour earlier Janet Jackson simulated masterbation, butt f*cking and grabbed at least a baker's dozen worth of crotches and no-one said anything. Donnie and Marie Osmond, along with the rest of the audience in fact jumped to their feet in adoration. To all this scandal, I say - "whatever". It's a non-scandal. On stage BJ's are NOT Scandolous.

THERE WAS HOWEVER, A SCANDAL. Adam Lambert is one of the best singers on this planet. If he weren't, there is no way that such a freakshow would have blasted off into stardom on the worlds most vanilla show ever (see American Idol). What all the critics have failed to mention is that Adam Lambert gave a terrible performance. It reminded me of Whitney and Mariah's gentle owl impressions they give as "performances". He cooed, talk sang and screamed. The best thing about his performance was when he fell. He stunk like cheese.

Watch the clip above. I like Glambert and think he is good, but seriously dude. EDIT. You're letting it all hang out and it aint pretty.

BBQ News: Love the taste of charcoal but hate the mess & chemicals? Finally a SOLUTION!

Smart Design yet again leads to greener practice in our daily lives. These new Baja BBQ Firepacks go right in your BBQ, you light them on fire, they self destruct and in 15 minutes your coals are ready to go. NO LIGHTER FLUID! NO CHARCOAL DUST! I am ready to buy them out - whose with me? Check out the article at GreenUpgrader.com

Drinking and Driving will be legal by 2040!!!

If this design team is right about the future of cars, then by the time I'm 58 years old, my car will drive itself!!! All of my former passengers are collectively praising jesus...Mike and Maike's new design has us sitting in a living room-like setting with an iphone-like data screen. The owner selects a destination on the gps and the car drives itself with the use of automated external sensors. There's a lot more to it, but that is the basic gist. I know it sounds crazy, but 5 years ago I would have never believed that I could shake my phone and find excellent thai food within 1 mile and in the price range i need. I might be a dreamer, but seriously, I'm a believer! Check it out - THIS IS COOL!

Free SPANISH rice!!!!

That's right, the hunger fighting, ULTRA addicting vocabulary game FREE RICE now has a ton of options including 4 languages, math problems, art and more. For each question you get right they donate 10 grains of rice. Each time you get it right the difficulty level increases. I'm telling you, try this once and you will have a seriously hard time pulling yourself away. Oh, and in the process I learned at least a few new spanish words I didn't know. I think its time to learn french, you know, for charity... PLAY HERE