mikegonsalves.blogspot.com

Snookie brings baby jesus some FrankenChenz and Mur...

2009-12-17T20:23:00.000-08:00

Yes I'm Serious...

This piece of amazingness happened on jimmy kimmel last night. I mean honestly does it get any better? Consider this my christmas gift to you.

Is the LATEST Supper as important as the LAST? A Rant...

2009-11-25T13:08:00.000-08:00

I may be a sentimental nugget right now-what with the holidays coming and all - but I saw this painting by Elaine Bagley featured on Apartment Therapy today and got a little E-MOSHE. Doesn't it remind you of the Last Supper? I know, I know, I'm not much of a religious either, and I am SO over Ratzinger (I mean Benedict), but the painting of the Last Supper has always struck a chord with me.

In my head I imagine Jesus finding out he's basically about to get taken out. He calls on his peeps to have one last hurrah before the cock crows that third time. I picture JC at the table, a little tipsy on wine, talking to his friends and saying "This is it. This is what it's all about. Forget the miracles and the eye for an eye stuff - life is about community and being present to one another. LIVE IN LOVE, PEOPLE!" Then he pounded a beer and made out with Mary Magdalene.

The last supper is the finite illustration of what I believe was Jesus' key message - Everyone is invited to the table. Everyone contributes. Everyone has equal value. It seems to me that the church hasn't just lost the message, they've changed it. The new motto reads: There are only so many places at the table. Everyone Contributes. Only those at the table have value. Bagley's painting is proof that the basic message of togetherness, despite all of the polarizing rhetoric in the world, is still present. I'm excited about Thanksgiving and the chance to break bread and drink wine with the people that mean the most to me. Thanks Elaine for your art! More HERE.

SAFETY JUST GOT SEXY!

2009-11-25T11:03:00.000-08:00

Nothing says high fashion like a bedazzled scooter helmet... I mean, my breath is taken. Available fresh from Uncle Lagerfeld's Fall collection, these "it" helmets are available at Collette Paris from an affordable $1,805.00 to a reasonable $6,837.00. My car cost me $4,000.00. SO... I think that what Uncle Karl is telling me is (insert inner dialogue) "if I get creative with my glue gun and feathers I may be able to increase the blue book value of my Mitsubishi Galant by major COUTURE proportions". Look for my chia car at a bloomies near you! CHEERS to Ridiculousness! Karl I know your laughing right now... I hope. More HERE

JESUS LITERALLY FELL OFF THE CROSS...

2009-11-25T10:32:00.000-08:00

OK, So it's been everywhere this week. Glambert closed the AMA's the other day with his new single "For Your Entertainment". As if the fly over states weren't already having seizures over his eyeliner, leather pants and general supreme gayness, Glambert went ahead and made out with a dude on National TV and simulated BJ's with another dude. In that moment, Jesus literally fell off the cross (or so it would seem).

Frankly, the critics are ridiculous. A half hour earlier Janet Jackson simulated masterbation, butt f*cking and grabbed at least a baker's dozen worth of crotches and no-one said anything. Donnie and Marie Osmond, along with the rest of the audience in fact jumped to their feet in adoration. To all this scandal, I say - "whatever". It's a non-scandal. On stage BJ's are NOT Scandolous.

THERE WAS HOWEVER, A SCANDAL. Adam Lambert is one of the best singers on this planet. If he weren't, there is no way that such a freakshow would have blasted off into stardom on the worlds most vanilla show ever (see American Idol). What all the critics have failed to mention is that Adam Lambert gave a terrible performance. It reminded me of Whitney and Mariah's gentle owl impressions they give as "performances". He cooed, talk sang and screamed. The best thing about his performance was when he fell. He stunk like cheese.

Watch the clip above. I like Glambert and think he is good, but seriously dude. EDIT. You're letting it all hang out and it aint pretty.

BBQ News: Love the taste of charcoal but hate the mess & chemicals? Finally a SOLUTION!

2009-07-22T13:55:00.000-07:00

Smart Design yet again leads to greener practice in our daily lives. These new Baja BBQ Firepacks go right in your BBQ, you light them on fire, they self destruct and in 15 minutes your coals are ready to go. NO LIGHTER FLUID! NO CHARCOAL DUST! I am ready to buy them out - whose with me? Check out the article at GreenUpgrader.com

Drinking and Driving will be legal by 2040!!!

2009-07-22T13:36:00.001-07:00

If this design team is right about the future of cars, then by the time I'm 58 years old, my car will drive itself!!! All of my former passengers are collectively praising jesus...Mike and Maike's new design has us sitting in a living room-like setting with an iphone-like data screen. The owner selects a destination on the gps and the car drives itself with the use of automated external sensors. There's a lot more to it, but that is the basic gist. I know it sounds crazy, but 5 years ago I would have never believed that I could shake my phone and find excellent thai food within 1 mile and in the price range i need. I might be a dreamer, but seriously, I'm a believer! Check it out - THIS IS COOL!

Free SPANISH rice!!!!

2009-07-08T14:28:00.000-07:00

That's right, the hunger fighting, ULTRA addicting vocabulary game FREE RICE now has a ton of options including 4 languages, math problems, art and more. For each question you get right they donate 10 grains of rice. Each time you get it right the difficulty level increases. I'm telling you, try this once and you will have a seriously hard time pulling yourself away. Oh, and in the process I learned at least a few new spanish words I didn't know. I think its time to learn french, you know, for charity... PLAY HERE

On the PLUS side.

2009-07-08T13:26:00.000-07:00

Stop your bitching. No seriously. Let's stop listening to the moaning unhappy people in our lives who do nothing but gripe all day. I've been letting them get to me lately and I'm becoming as benign and unspirited as they are. NO MORE. I'm reminded of the worlds Best Nerd Einstein and his famous quote:

"There are two ways to live: You can live as if nothing is a miracle; You can live as if everything is a miracle."

Seriously, think about it. If we can just convince ourselves of how phenomenal life is in general, to the point of literally thinking EVERYTHING is a miracle - man we will be crazy happy! I say crazy happy because I'm sure we will seem a little insane, but it's so much better than just being another sad clown. Sure, being positive all the time will be annoying as all hell to some people, but that in itself will make it worth it. ;)

For a daily dose of constant positivity check out my buddy Cole's blog - WE ARE LOVE

Holy Bloody Hell

2009-07-06T14:14:00.000-07:00

All it takes is a bloody baby to keep people driving safe in New Zealand. This billboard is so freaky diky. Check out the link to get the full story on how the Kiwi Government is using this campaign to remind people to be careful driving in the rain. All I can say is that if I saw this I would drive safely - into a tree. More HERE

Everyone I know's a Jug Head...

2009-06-18T13:49:00.000-07:00

Or is it Jar head? ha! I just moved and have been trying to find inexpensive and non-obvious ways to decorate my new house. This tip from Apartment Therapy is pretty cool and so simple. I think this would look cool on a window sill or in a kitchen. They would also make cool center pieces if you paired them with mason jars filled with t lights. Don't the people one's look weird though...like decapitated astronauts. Sorry, somebody forgot to take his crazy pills. Check the article HERE.

Cocktail Popsicle? YES PLEASE!

2009-06-18T13:19:00.000-07:00

Ok, so first. Thank you Diablo Magazine for posting this today. I now have weekend "plans". Second, Thank you Havana Restaurant in Walnut Creek for creating yet another excuse to drink. And last thank you to the man upstairs and the tiny baby jesus for making the folks at Havana humaine enough to post their recipes. Now that's good will toward men! Click HERE for the recipe. And HERE for Diablo's article. I think I'm gonna use my fave Flor de Cana Rum and hold it down for my Nicaraguan people. Cheers!

BEN FOLDS SINGS CHURCH MUSIC!

2009-06-09T13:26:00.000-07:00

Well, kinda. Actually, he's not singing at all. His new album Ben Fold's Presents: University A Capella is a compilation of Acapella groups singing his greatest hits - AKA church music - he only sings on two songs in the whole album. I know what you're thinking, MC Hammer tried to go all Amy Grant on us and it didn't work. Look what happened to him, he turned gangsta rapper, went bankrupt, found jesus again and now he's bagging groceries at the long beach Trader Joe's. Worst part of the whole scenario - Eric Niese is his supervisor...

Ok, I might have made that up. Point is, I was a little worried that this album would be the end of Benny Boy. Turns out - I THINK IT IS PHENOMENAL and have been listening to it all day. In the religious world of Ben Fold's this is his Easter Sunday or passover or something. Shalom. Check the video above and read his funny interview with Nerve HERE.

Big Belly Big Belly Big GREEN Belly!

2009-05-28T15:42:00.000-07:00

I've always thought trash compactors were sweet - this new "Big Belly" public trash can being released into the wild in Philly among other places is the bomb diggity. Its got a solar panel making it self powered, can hold up to 8 times more trash then the old stinky ones out front my work right now and are covered and sealed to keep rain and the "transient population" out. I VOTE YES. Please. Check out the big belly website.

Hi my name is Mike and I'll be auditioning for the role of kicker...

2009-05-19T22:04:00.001-07:00

This is just one of the hundreds of hilarious one liners on the new FOX show Glee. It is AMAZING. Think Sister Act 2 (The Ben Hur of teen dramady) meets Head of the Class (the meteor that catapulted Robyn Givens into super stardom). I'm telling you, this pilot had better get picked up. Check out the site on Fox and hopefully by tomorrow they will have the pilot available to watch - I'll post once it does. ENJOY

OMG - this could really chap some hides! Bye bye Katherine Heigle...

2009-05-19T10:00:00.000-07:00

THIS DEVISE WILL PREVENT US FROM HAVING TO SEE KATHERINE HEIGL EVER AGAIN!!! She is the Vegemite of Celebrities. A core group of people have learned to appreciate her and even (Pause/dry heave for effect) like her, mostly because of being force fed Heigl sandwiches nearly all their lives! The sad reality of both K Heigl and Vegemite is that they are both hard to digest and are completely unlikeable to the saine of mind and heart. I implore all of the 1.2 readers of this blog to buy this universal remote and terrorize the city by turning off every television you see displaying her supreme annoyingness. Here's the Link.

U.G.L.Y You Aint got no Aliby...

2009-05-19T09:30:00.000-07:00

Those of us who like to travel to exotic places- especially those who go WAY off the beaten path, know that the un-beaten path often leads to a beaten white-boy or girl. In my trips to random places I have been robbed at gunpoint, knife point, had cameras stolen and even had a pair of glasses swiped right off my face. What I've learned is that it's best to remain inconspicuous and to keep only the shittiest of supplies with you. Jimmie's Project journal seems to feel my pain and came up with a genius remedy - his Faux crap camera allowed him to take some awesome pics in some super dangerous parts of Rio, and since it lacked luster or anything shiny at all, he got through a 3 month trip without a scratch. Hit this link to read how he pulled it off or check out his incredibly candid pics of graffiti artists and their work here.

If I told you I've been "Jerkin'" and doing "tha stanky leg" a lot lately what would you say?

2009-05-15T15:47:00.001-07:00

I thought for sure my assistant Danielle was working out some kind of inapropriate private time for later involving an illegal substance and code names. Well, turns out - I'm SUPER old. I'd heard of "Crumping" thanks to So You Think You Can Dance, but apparently my supreme dorkdom has kept me protected from two MAJOR dance crazes sweeping the streetz. First theres Jerkin' where kids basically act like they are moving backwards, kind of a modified moonwalk, and second we have "tha stanky leg" similar to the superman in that its based on a song, where basically kids do a half butterfly (shout out to my peeps in 1995) and have a seizure. Below are low budge you tube videos of the two. Am I the only one out of the loop? I blame Julia Stylz - she has totally dropped the ball as my ambasador to sweet dancing. I'm just saying.

FEELING SHEEPISH?

2009-05-15T11:32:00.000-07:00

This is the best, Nay - the only Sheep art I've ever seen. I'm talking crazy. They strung LED lights on the fuzzy little guys and syncronized their movements to recreate everything from the Mona Lisa to a game of pong. I am thoroughly impressed. Thanks Inhabitat for sharing this today :)

OH MAN THIS IS PHENOMENAL - SWV Rest in Peace...

2009-05-15T09:49:00.000-07:00

Our friends at Four Four have put together a retrospective of Coko from SWV's nails for our Friday enjoyment. Yes, I'm serious. Oh how I've missed little baby Coko - this post brought me back to the days of day dreaming about Tevin Campbell and doing karaoke to "Weak in the Knees" on my cousin Nicks Aiwa stereo. Oh the good old days... Enjoy the Friday Goodness Here.

What Beverage might cure cancer???!!!! a) Ginger Ale b) Urine c) Water

2009-05-15T08:39:00.000-07:00

When I lived in Nicaragua my neighbor Dona Nieva (Mrs. Snow) would tell me elaborate stories of how she contracted horrible breast cancer among other ailments but didn't believe in chemo or other medical therapies. Naturally her next best option was to begin drinking a full glass of her warm pee every morning as a detox. Low and behold, her cancer disappeared and she's been drinking the warm yellow ever since. Today, the university of Rochester revealed a study that shows that Ginger Ale may be giving the glass o pee a run for its money. Read the whole story -HERE.

HOT and TALENTED!!!

2009-05-14T22:20:00.000-07:00

His name is Alexi Lubomirski. He's one of GQ's 10 most stylish men in America - and by these eyes' standards, he belongs on that other list People magazine puts out later on in the year. So, yeah, I googled him, found his website, and low and behold there is much more to him than just looking good. Check out his "moving pictures" section. They are like snapshots only so much more interesting. http://www.alexilubomirski.com/

Me and Chuck T

2009-05-14T21:18:00.000-07:00

Any one that knows me knows that when I'm not in a suit I'm in jeans and my Chuck Taylors. They are perfect. Naturally, when the insanely cool John Varvatos started doing clothing lines for Converse, I became obsessed. Today when I was shopping I discovered two things 1) Varvatos now has his sale stuff on the website! and 2) Converse revamped their make your own tool on the website with a bunch of new color, print and fabric options! - Careful, this thing is addicting...play away, but don't let your boss catch you!

SUPERSIZE your SALAD?

2009-05-14T19:15:00.000-07:00

Now this is great advertising! Tibits of Switzerland (a vegetarian chain restaurant) has come up with some of the most eye catching advertising I've seen in a while. Click here to see more pictures ... And here to see their menu. Thank you tibits for making art out of advertising.

"Come out come out wherever you are!"- H. Milk

2009-05-14T12:34:00.000-07:00

WATCH OUT POLITICOS YOUR SECRET IS ABOUT TO BE OUT - Remember the scene in Milk where Harvey yells out "come out, come out wherever you are!" and they kind of breeze over the fact that not only did he urge people to come out of the closet, but he did it for them whether they were ready or not? Never heard that part of the story? Well it's true and in the wake of recent Harvey worship it's been all but forgotten. Harvey was a great man, but a lot of folks weren't so happy with his methods. Is it OK to out somebody? The latest film by Director Kirby Dick titled "Outrage" is poised to do just that - Point the gay finger at more than a few anti-gay marriage politicians they claim are in hiding. The film's not out until later this year, but take a look at Peter Traver's review in the most recent Rolling Stone - spoiler alert, he names a few names: http://www.rollingstone.com/reviews/movie/26845684/review/28065110/outrage

I don't feel very comfortable with this. What do you think?

Finally! Now you can shoot guns and excercise at the same time!

2009-05-14T12:04:00.000-07:00

This is so random I just had to post it. The freakazoids at Bill's Idle Mind have come up with yet another completely useless and fantastic invention. This one has you pedaling on a 1970's stationary bike, building more and more pressure until Kaboom - you fire off a hollowed out shotgun shell at innocent passers by. I'm not sure what's more sad - that these guys took the time to build this thing, or that I desperately want to try it out! Lord have mercy.

Check it out ---> http://billllsidlemind.blogspot.com/2009/05/pedal-gun-fun.html

PEREZ doesn't know jack. This is going to be the hot song of the summer!!!

2009-05-13T14:48:00.000-07:00

Earlier this week Perez talked smack on the new single from Wyclef & Shakira "The border" - and in the same day praised Broke Hogan (no that's not a spelling error) for her horrendous new song (I refuse to insert title here). All I have to say is I'm hooked. This song is goodness - sure Shakira tends to sing about how her boobs look like mountains and other strange verses when she sings in English, but honestly I don't even care. She could be singing about mint chocolate chip ice cream for all I care as long as Wyclef is there to make it sound muy awesome! Have a listen on this really low budget bootleg video with the music playing over the wrong moving pictures. Good times!

P.S. Wyclef performed the other day at Sacramento's Block Party for California's Future honoring our favorite Gubernatorial candidate Gavin Newsom. Not only was he completely gracious and cool, but he brought the house down and threw a damn good party. Thanks Wyclef!

Chiggity Check it out! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3I6SLJiAHg

Would you eat this guys tomato?

2009-05-13T14:14:00.000-07:00

If the folks at San Quentin's Insight Garden Program have anything to say about it, we'll be eating murderer grown fruits and thief made produce by the end of summer! Well, maybe not summer, but the ball is rolling in that direction... Inmate contracted manufacturing programs have become the rage in prisons across the country lately offering prisons a step toward sustainability and consumers a lower price point. Many of us have been buying prisoner made furniture, clothing and so on for years without ever realizing it. The Insight Garden Program, while not really a consumer program right now, certainly has the potential to go that direction. The program was created a few years back as a rehabilitation tool as well as skill training for San Quentin prisoners. What has resulted is a very successful program that has the prison yard transformed into a productive full scale garden over what once was nothing more than a plot of dirt scattered with weights and bored inmates. After reading through their website, I must say, I love the idea that we could actually ask those who are "serving time" to "serve the community" while they wait out their sentence. After all, aren't my tax dollars paying for their housing? Check it out - What do you think? http://www.insightgardenprogram.org/

Kanye West - I Love Hate You.

2009-05-13T13:42:00.000-07:00

www.men.style.com gave a sneak peak today of Kanye's new book stupidly titled "Thank You and You're Welcome". Let's just say Kanye is not exactly my first choice in life advice, but I must say, somehow this guy has managed to not let his complete jackassery destroy his massive talent for broadcasting all things Hip and Hop - not too shabby. Needless to say, I clicked through the slide show, and if you're remotely interested, you should too. I personally like the "banister theory". The link ---> http://men.style.com/news/blog/2009/04/the-wisdom-of-w.html?mbid=msnf

Finally a Concierge that Gets me! Well, Sort of...

2009-05-13T12:45:00.001-07:00

When my Google Alert "Innovative Hotel" and one of my favorite bloggers EVER Joshspear.com both highlighted the Opus Hotel Vancouver this month, I knew I needed to take a look around (via the Internet of course ;). As a Hotel guy I'm not easily impressed - the place looks cool, hip and not too unlike any other boutique hotels I've seen lately. What really caught my eye though was their incredibly obvious and therefore genius approach to Concierge Services. Opus' Lifestyle Concierge gives it's clients the chance to identify with one or more of several personality archetypes. Find your place among or between any of the personality types from Mike (the well-groomed, athletic, night on the town gay guy type) to Carol (the in on business, working with a budget, interested in feeling "local" but don't want to put too much effort into it, woman.) As a concierge, I love the way the guess work is taken out! Pre-selected ideas are available for guests to use as a template and concierge people are available to address specific needs and to tailor one's trip once the basics have been established. Somebody please make an online guide book with this same concept! If you are like me, you are neither a hoity toity Frommer's guy nor are you the naturally pungent granola type that reads Lonely Planet. Finally, Opus, I think you're on to something. Here's the link - http://www.opushotel.com/services_concierge.html

Chalk board napkin rings? WHAT?!!! I Love it.

2009-05-13T12:25:00.001-07:00

A few years ago I was blown away by the radicool invention of Magnetic Chalkboard paint. I was first introduced to it by a visiting US teacher while I was living in Nicaragua and teaching English. She helped me make personal chalk boards for my students after I complained that many of them couldn't afford supplies for class, not even a notebook. A few donations of chalk later and we were in business. The other day a blog I love called Apartment Therapy posted some neat pics of how people at home are using the same product to make some cool stuff. Hit the link to see what I'm talking about. http://www.apartmenttherapy.com/la/flickr-finds/flickr-finds-magnetic-chalkboard-wall-057555

"As if my own inability to resist temptation weren't enough, GILT.com has come along to tease me with their shiny red apple called - URGENCY".

2009-05-13T10:33:00.000-07:00

We all know it. We shouldn't be spending frivalously on things we can't really afford right now. The smart thing to do is to save, analyze our expenses and move forward cautiously. But let's face it, doing the smart thing is a total fashion DON'T. I for one have found myself spending my last $150.00 on a must have Hoodie T-shirt by KZO knowing full well that I would spend the last 8 days of the month eating Ramen and P&J Sandwiches - It's a problem. As if my own inability to resist temptation weren't enough, GILT.com has come along to tease me with their shiny red apple called - URGENCY.

GILT is an invite only online community featuring 24 hour sales of exclusive and limited designer clothes, shoes, home goods and more. Their flash sales can score a decisive shoppinista as much as 70% off on everything from Armani suits to Hermes bags. The catch is, the sales end just as quickly as they start, so you have to be fast. Wait even a couple minutes to decide and some other opportunist will snatch it out from under you. The deals are AMAZING and the designer access GILT gives folks like me in less than fashion savvy towns is enough to make a man or woman obsessed... click the link to check it out. www.gilt.com